WIP: Treatment for When Atlantis Fell

So I have completed the pilot episode for the four season serial. This is an epic, sci-fi/fantasy ensemble covering the destruction of Atlantis during the last Ice Age. It is based on a trilogy that I am currently writing and the rewrite of Wall of Destruction.

Now I am working on the treatment I believe that Hollywood would eventually ask for. For season one I will cover half of book one of the trilogy (which I have already written). Here is the synopsis followed by the episode summaries.

What do you think of the story?

Log Line: Flying craft, energy weapons, sword and shield are used in an Ice Age global war. The destruction of Atlantis is told from the perspectives of those crossing paths with one Atlantean officer, who causes the fall of civilization to stop those who would enslave the world.


A global war between the empires of Atlantis and Rama, ravage the Ice Age world. Their civilizations fueled by Aether, a power source channeled through crystals that act as batteries. Aether allows them conveniences similar to our modern society. Both have more primitive allies who have superhuman heroes that have been blessed by the Gods. For Atlantis, there is also a political rivalry for the Emperor’s ear between the Atlantis first party, Shigar, and the peace party, Nelos.

In season one, RISOR, the commander of a squadron of Atlantis’ flying machines called vailixi, fights his nation’s enemy and his political enemy, JANA, a Shigar member and rival squadron commander. Atlantis turns to powerful Aether weapons, like our nuclear weapons. This starts a tit-for-tat destruction against each empire’s cities that culminates in Rama recognizing they will lose. In a desperate gamble, Rama decides to flood the coastlines by releasing the built up waters of the northern ice pack. INDRAJIT, a hero of Rama, leads a strike on the ice barriers causing flooding that forces the abandonment of many coastal cities including Atlantis. In eastern Europe, ROGAT, friend of Risor and an infantryman, survives the resulting floods but is forced to lead the surviving Atlantean peoples of Eastern Europe to safety while Greek hero, DEMETRI, chases them in the hopes of destroying the last remnants of Atlantis, in the region. Meanwhile, Atlantis realizes that Rama caused this destruction and wants revenge. They recall all forces to the new Atlantis site to lead a massive strike against the remnants of Rama. The remote colonies, trying to recover, realize this would strip them of protections at their most vulnerable and refuse. In Altai, Risor has a successful coup against the military commander as Altai plans for its freedom. In the east, Atlantis sends a force to Moia to force the local military to comply. SHANDAR, a fellow squadron commander in Asia, leads a force that destroys the Atlantean force and forces Utanor and Moia to be independent.


Season 1 Episode Summaries

S1E1: Indrajit goes to the northern ice pack and captures an Atlantean research team. In Atlanta Nado or Eastern Europe, Demetri’s men ambush an enemy force. In Altai, or along the Mississippi River, Risor meets his friends for dinner before they go back to their respective assignments. He meets Rogat there. In Atlantis, Lena says good bye to her lover, Tilor, as his leave ends and he returns to his base. Rogat returns to his base and is promoted to troop leader because of an ambush that killed the previous leader when Rogat was on vacation.

S1E2: Demetri is in the capital of the Tugar, discussing an upcoming attack on Dedeni. Rogat’s troops were left behind to garrison Dedeni when the larger Atlantean force attacks the nearby Tugar town of Bicas. Rogat feels like something bad will happen. Lady Jana comes to Risor’s base and tells him, his squadron would assist in an attack on Rama. He argues about the consequences of the attack but eventually bows to her demands. The attack proceeds successfully destroying the targeted city. Meanwhile, Shandar Kotan leads an attack against the Hu city of Magno to disrupt the allies of Rama at the same time. Demetri launches an attack against Dedeni and overruns the base. They trap Rogat and a few survivors in an underground bunker. Demetri and Rogat meet to talk surrender but Rogat refuses. A relief force of Atlanteans arrives in time to stop the assault on Rogat but are beaten back with heavy loses. Demetri departs giving Atlantis a major defeat.

S1E3: After the strikes in the last episode, Risor is being asked to explain his actions. After the unexplained loss of power, he returned to base. He believes this inquiry is part of Lady Jana’s revenge for questioning her about the logic of the strikes. His squadron joins a multi squadron strike but he is not to command it as is his normal right. Another rival, Jamal, leads the strike. The strike goes all wrong and they barely escape with few survivors. They return to base to find out that Rama has struck their base and colony with WMDs of their own. They try to help survivors but need help. Shandar’s squadron is sent to assist Risor with the rescue. Indrajit returns home to find out that Rama and Atlantis are now regularly destroying each other’s cities and that his mother was killed in such a strike. He discusses what the Atlanteans were looking for on the ice pack.

S1E4: Risor leaves Vortia and returns to Atlantis to face an inquiry into his behavior. He ordered the retreat and Shigar enemies are trying to frame him as a coward and derelict in his duties. He is ordered home during further investigation. Lady Jana confronts him and openly declares her hatred for him. Tilor sees him off when an attack on Atlantis occurs. While unsuccessful it was close, this drives Tilor to seek safety for Lena. Lena and Tilor spend their last night together in Atlantis. Rogat’s company was sent to another area along the Tes Naldo or today, the Black Sea. He meets Yalana who he promptly falls for.

S1E5: Tilor and Lena arrive at the north African coast village of Dumon tu Mare. One of the other members of Tilor’s squadron has family here and Lena will stay with them. Tilor and Lena say their good byes and Tilor leaves. Shandar is home after seeing the horrors of the strike on Vortia, he talks to his father and then the colony’s Council of Elders. Back near Tes Naldo, Rogat beats off an attack by Tugar and their allies. Risor is home when word arrives that he is cleared of charges and that he can return to duty. Up north, a Rama vimana flying craft force heads over the ice cap, they use their brahmastra weapons of mass destruction to destroy the ice barriers holding the large bodies of water in the ice pack. It comes crashing out.

S1E6: The citizens of Alta are woken to an alarm to evacuate to the hills. Risor and his family flee and barely make safety ahead of the flood. Many citizens are washed away as the city is swallowed in the flood. In Atlanta Nado, a tsunami is reported heading for Rogat’s fort. They start to flee. Back in Alta, vailixi survey the flood as it empties in to the Gulf. They find few survivors. Rogat and some of his people make it to safety as the waters start rising against the hills. Demetri witnesses the destruction of the city of Delin, down the coast from Rogat’s fort, and the death of most of its people. They stay for hours after the waters recede and witness no rescue attempt. Demetri surmises that Atlantis is also affected and in dire straits.

S1E7: A news report and fly over of the swamped city of Atlantis and one or two small colonies starts the episode. Risor’s vailixi flies over the swollen river back to Sun’s Farewell bluff, where command tents were set up. Inside, the Council of Altai was getting a report from Tolen, the city’s head scientist or shilot, about the floods. Reports are flooding in about Atlantis and other colonies being hit. In Utanor, near Japan, Shandar hears of the destruction of Atlantis and the call for the colonies military to strike Rama. Shandar and the council agree not to send any forces because they are needed to help defend the colonies of Utanor and Moia. They prepare their defenses. Lena and the villagers see the waters rising and know of the fate of many colonies. She is worried about Tilor.

S1E8: Risor wakes up to a sprawling tent camp of refugees, he heads back to the command center on the bluff. There he finds out the order that Atlantis has given. There is a debate on response with the overall military commander trying to organize a force to go to Atlantis while the Council wishes the forces to stay there. Risor prepares to use his squadron against the land forces if that is necessary. Fordo, the military commander, confronts the Council and Risor to obey the summons from Atlantis at gunpoint. Risor has his squadron show up over head and Fordo’s men surrender. Risor is promoted as the overall commander.

S1E9: The council in Altai discuss leaving the Atlantean Empire. They discuss what to do with Fordo and the men that backed him. They decide the best thing to do is send Fordo on a peace mission to the local tribes to see how they are doing. Sending him and his men will get them out of the way and give him a chance to show he can be trusted. Meanwhile, Atlantis has sent a force to Moia, the other Asian colony to gather the colony’s forces to go with them. Word gets to Utanor and Shandar mobilizes a force to go save Moia and his beloved.

S1E10: Shandar has his squadron speeding to Moia to free them from Atlantis. His girlfriend commands the squadron stationed at Moia. Her squadron is detained in their barracks. She was able to escape and contact Shandar from the nearby temple. Shandar attacks the Atlantean vailixi and their men on the ground. Shandar leads a small force to free Jolna in the priests quarters. They succeed and then head to the central council chambers. There Jolna realizes the Atlanteans tortured her father and she kills the leader before Shandar can stop her.

End of Season 1


Wall of Destruction – Lena’s Story – Outline

So, one of the characters I wish to write about in a future book would be Lena. Tilor’s girlfriend that he can not wed because he is an Atlantean noble and she a commoner. Sounds familiar, right? Well, in a way it is, but she gets her own adventure.  Here is part of the outline I was thinking for her story.

– Opens as Lena is with Tilor at the Atlantis Airport saying goodbye to Tilor as he gets ready to go back to duty in Sundaland (start of Wall of Destruction – WoD).

– See her life in Atlantis, 3 days later, as she learns of the strikes on Rama. How the folks of Atlantis are excited and think the war will be over soon. The city is euphoric and Lena believes Tilor will be back soon. She is worried because she has not heard from him yet.

– Day 4, going to work Lena hears of the counter strikes of Rama using their WMDs. How they destroy Sundaland’s colony and base and Lena is worried about Tilor. She has not heard from him for the last two days and is fearful that something happened to him.

– Day 5, Tilor walks into Lena’s bar to surprise her. He tells her of what is going on and how the destruction of Sundaland’s colony was. He spends the day with her.

– Day 6, Tilor leaves to visit Risor. He has completed his trial and is returning home and wants to say good bye.. Rama attempts a strike on Atlantis and Lena sees the same attack that Risor and Tilor do in WoD..Afterwards, Lena and Tilor meet up and Tilor talks about her getting out of Atlantis. She agrees as the strike early that day unsettled her, even if not successful.

– Day 9, Tilor gets them passage on a boat bound for Africa. They plan to travel half way to Luxa (Egypt) and for her to stay in a small town along the coast. They will look for a house that she can stay in until the war calms down. Tilor doesn’t want her near any large city as they would be targets.

– Day 12, They near the town that Tilor found and then shop for a house to rent. They find a home owned by a widow and her children. The family makes baskets and Lena can help them to make baskets. Tilor pays for 6 months up front and gives Lena more money. They say their good byes as Tilor wishes to also go home to visit his parents in the Caribbean.

– Two weeks later, Lena is happy with Kala and her 2 children. She dreams of finally marrying Tilor and having children even though she knows that would be difficult. Tilor was a noble and Lena was just a common citizen. Plus Tilor was fearful of what his father would say. Then the peaceful calm she was enjoying was shattered as an alert of a tsunami coming towards the town causes all to run further inland to the hills. Luckily only the docks were destroyed as the town was up a slight rise and the tsunami was more a very high tide at this point. They count themselves lucky but then find out that Atlantis was devastated.

– One week later. The town had plenty of food and Lena was safe with Kala but she was very worried about Tilor and of course Atlantis itself. The city was said to be abandoned and most of the garrison of their town was sent to fight Rama. There were rumors that the Greeks were striking during this time of disaster. Rumors said they were striking along the African coast and other Atlantean colonies along the Med.

– 3 days later. Lena, Kala and the kids are woken to the sound of alarm and cries of war and pain. Lena goes out the door and sees that the town is under attack by the Greeks. With most of the garrison gone, the fight is short and desperate for the defenders as they try to buy the civilians time to escape into the surrounding hills and savannah.

– They are captured almost to the hills. the Greeks take them on their boat and take them back to their city across the Med in Sicily. There Lena, Kala and the kids are used as slaves. They are luckily not raped as Lena learns the Greeks are asking for a ransom for the hostages they have taken. Lean and Kala confide with the other slaves that were there before them that Atlantis will probably not pay for them as she has her own problems with the city being destroyed.

– One month goes by and Lena was being treated okay. The Greeks were honorable and while still slaves, let them live in their own huts without bonds. Those that try to escape are cruelly tortured then killed but if the slaves are good and do their work, they are left to their own devices. Since most of the slaves are women and children the Greeks are not worried about a revolt. While the Greeks did not force themselves on the women, they let it be known that a favor for a favor goes a long way. Many of the women did decide to ease their existence. Lena couldn’t blame them.

– That night Lena is awoken to explosions as Atlantean vailixi strike the Greek town. Afterwards Atlantean armored troops enter the village and fight the Greeks. Lena watches as the Greek Hero, one imbued with the power of the Gods, kills many of the armored Atlantean troops only to be eventually cut down due to aether spear blasts. The Atlanteans rescue all the slaves and take them back to New Atlantis.

Think it could be a movie or integrated into the When Atlantis Fell movies?

Log Line for Wall of Destruction

Happy New Year. I have pieced together the Log Line I think I want to use for my submission to Hollywood. Under 50 words and I can say in about 10 seconds at a normal pace. Does it describe when, where, who and why it might be interesting enough?

During the last ice age, a war between advanced civilizations, ravages the world. The survivors of a remote colony struggle to build a new life and escape the grasp of far away, war crazed Atlantis.

When Atlantis Fell book 2: To the Death (working title)


Working on summary of book 2 (follow on to Wall of Destruction).  Here is the summary of the first few chapters.  Please let me know what you think.

–  Modern times with winged spear found in southern China.

 – Air battle between Alta’s forces and Luxa forces, with Alta winning with 3 craft left. Risor was left to recuperate still and was not told of the battle to come.

 – Epilogue info from WoD where they tell Risor what is happening.

 – Risor goes to the council as he is still the acting military leader. He talks about how that Luxa lost all 8 of their craft, it would just be a matter of time before they rebuilt their force and came back at Alta. How Alta could scavenge the downed craft to see what they can recover but they might not be able to get more than 3-4 craft in the air. That something else has to be done. The council debates the issue.

 – Risor with Demara talk with his family about what this might mean. The scholar states how they could not go further north because the weather is too crazy and how they could not really go west because of the same thing. They could go east over the mountains to reside along the river valleys there but it would be hard and long.

– Risor comes up with the trying to get allies from the Asian rebels or Rama to see if they can join in an attack to destroy Luxa’s ability to make new aether weapons. He explains this to the council. The council figure they have a few years before Luxa can rebuild a large enough force to come at Alta again without leaving themselves vulernable in Luxa. They decide to cross the mountains and build a new hidden city amongst the river valleys of the northern coast line. They would use the vailixi to scout a way and then start building there as they did in New Alta. Risor convinces them to  let him and his crew take their vailixi west to find the allies.

– They spend a month recovering the downed vailixi and find they can repair one of them plus top off the energy for each vailixi and some of their power suits. While they can not keep all three combat effective, they can use them for transports. Risor and his crew are joined by 6 trooper in power suits. His old team from WoD joins as his crew. They say their good byes to friends and family.

– Risor’s vailixi flies first south towards old Alta to see if Luxa was there. They find signs that someone was there not sure if it was Luxa or Atlantis from before. They advise Alta to send a team down south to scavenge if they can.

– Heading south over the Gulf, Risor notes the continued change of the Gulf and how the barrier islands to the inner seas have disappeared beneath the waves. They turn west to cross over mexico and head north along the west coast. There the gently slopping coastal regions have been inundated and in many regions it has run up into the foothills. Going further north they run along the glaciers heading west. Eventually they come to land again and start following that south. They noticed that large regions that were grasslands or forests near the glaciers have been covered with water. The seas are rising and have started to flow between the trees.

– As Risor’s team goes along the eastern coast of Japan at night, they notice distant lights in the hills above the water. Risor cant find mention of villages this far north along the coast. They believe this is either some of the Raman allies way further east than previously thought or refugees from X, which might have finally succumbed to the rising sea levels. They land a good distance from the lights so they can try to approach the next day.

– Risor goes with his trooper friends to see who these people are ..  as they get closer they are ambushed by a power suit armored force. Before all the shooting starts Risor gets the enemy to stop and talk. They find out that these are indeed refugees of X and friendly. They go to the refugee encampment.

– Risor learns that the rebellion against Atlantis had gone badly. That initially the rebels did okay but they had the majority of their vailixi and infantry mauled in a major engagement a few months before. This strike was about the time that the split between Atlantis and Luxa occurred but not in time to save the rebels. With the defeat, the Atlanteans attacked their city and forced the rebels to flee into the wild. Those that could were gathered up and brought to this location. Many were killed by the Han allies of Rama, once they figured out that X and Y were rebellion against Atlantis.

Passage from book

Finalizing my crowdsource request for contributions to getting the book published on Indiegogo.com    Here is one of the passages from the book that I am using in the campaign.

Flee for your lives!

Risor awakens to the tolling of the bells and yelling coming from the streets below. Racing to the hallway, he meets other family members and servants. Everyone is demanding to know what is going on, with servants charging off in all directions to try and get some answers. Rosan orders everyone back to dress and prepare a few changes of clothes.

Maybe the Ramans have finally decided to strike the Atlantean colonies on this side of the world. Risor quickly dressed and went down to the house courtyard below. Servants were hustling back and forth with his father directing actions. A small stack of bags and such were already gathered in the courtyard.

“What is going on father?” cried Risor.

“We do not know yet but the order is to evacuate to the hills.”

In moments, an officer of the town guard comes through the front gate with one of the servants sent to find out what is going on.

“My lords, Sub-commander Ruland. We are ordering an evacuation of the city. There is a great flood coming from the north and it will be here in one to two hours. Please gather what you can easily carry and head out the Morning Gate. It will be the quickest way to the hills.” turning to Rosan. “Elder Councilman Tarnor, Councilman Zailor advises the council should meet at Sun’s Farewell bluff as soon as possible. We will maintain that as our headquarters until the crisis is over.”

“Sub-commander, what of the vailixi? I have some of my unit here.” Risor asked.

“All of the vailixi are in the air going north or to Sun’s Farewell bluff as part of the command hub. I believe that means your craft as well, sir.”

Rosan put his hand on Risor’s shoulder. “Son, I need you here to help me with our household.”

“I will stay father, but I need to make sure that my people are okay. Thank you sub-commander.” As the guardsman saluted and then left.

“Flood eh?” Risor remembered what Tolen said. “Father if this is related to what Tolen told us before, it could be very bad.”

“Yes he told us too. We need to get everyone moving.”

Within fifteen minutes, the family, servants and baggage was on the move. While not running, especially since it was still a long distance, the group moved quickly. Along with hundreds of other fleeing residents.

Within the city proper, the streets are well lit and it was easy to see dropped items that someone before them had second thoughts about taking. The streets were strewn with debris from those fleeing. Luckily for the Tarnors, their home opened onto one of the main thoroughfares and they quickly exited the city gate.

The road was lit for a ways but soon the city lights were no longer available. Hundreds were on the road to the hills with all manner of wagons or animals as beasts of burden. Risor would not mind having one of the aether wagons at this time, that would allow them to pretty much run along side the road a few feet off the ground. They couldn’t stay on the road with all the other people but as long as the ground near the road was flat they could use that.

With only star light, the occasional torch or aether light to light their way it was pretty scary for those fleeing. They moved on pretty much in silence so they can hear when the waters are coming. The silence was broken by vailixi occasionally flying overhead with their aether lights beaming along the road. The light showed how much junk was already thrown to the sides as people feared not making it and threw their belongings away to move quicker.

Risor believes they were half way to the hills when up ahead an animal bellowed and then an aether spear shot the beast. Many of the animals near Risor’s family were getting skittish, which Risor thought meant the flood is getting closer. He had heard Tolen say that animals have a sense, like those who control the use of aether, to detect when danger is coming.

When they got to where the beast was killed, they saw a group trying to remove it from the road.

“Citizens, leave it, it is to one side and there is little time. Pick up your gear and move on.” Said Rosan to the crowd.

The people didn’t seem to need much convincing, they dropped their holds on the beast and moved on.

“Father, the beast will still block any larger wagons coming up the road.” Rina finally spoke, she seemed in a state of shock since leaving their home.

“Honey, any wagon that big will not move quickly with all these people in the way and if it did, it would more than likely run people over.” When she didn’t say anything, he added, “Better that one wagon be left than many people harmed in the driver’s attempt to reach safety.” Again no response.