Rewrite of Wall of Destruction

Today was the first day in a while I could write. Just wasn’t feeling it.  I am rewriting Wall of Destruction to make it match the Wall of Destruction screenplay.  My goal is to not only incorporate the screenplay story line but also to add more about some sub-plot stories. I was initially thinking to write them as separate books but recently decided to make them part of these books.  I imagine it will still be two books, maybe three but not sure where I would break out the third book. In the end, all the sub-plots will roll up into the final battle of book two.

So here is my first draft of the opening scene of the new Wall of Destruction.  Would love comments.

Wall of Destruction, Opening Scene

The men stood silently, as an air battle raged above them. All attired in various styles of armor. Swordsmen with breastplate, shield and helm. Archers, with bow, quiver and short sword. Infantry men with leather brigandine and large Aether spears.

Finally, there were the armored troopers. Men in Aether-powered armored suits that covered them head to toe. They also carried Aether spears.

All of these soldiers, had the symbol of a Trident, with a fist imposed over it, on their chest. The look of battle hardened veterans, they sat their awaiting the enemy. Slightly in front of the front row, stood a beautiful woman in leather brigandine. A haughty look, with her hair flowing freely in the night’s breeze. Arms crossed, she stood there staring intently down the beach.

This force stood between the waves and dunes, facing up the beach. The air battle above them raged on between the vailixi of Atlantis and Luxa. The final battle of the civil war was playing out.

The distinctive whirling noise of the vailixi gets louder. Many look up to see a pair of vailixi starting their strafing run on the closed ranks of the force. They get in a few shots before Luxan vailixi attack them and force them to peel off. Three Luxan vailixi chase the two Atlanteans over the dunes and further inland. An explosion is soon heard.
A few of the troopers are killed in the attack but the line remains intact. They stare up the beach, awaiting the enemy, they know is coming.

Three Luxan vailixi race pass the formation, going up the beach and out pass the dunes. In the distance, a stream of soldiers come onto the beach from the dunes. They start to form a battle line facing the Luxans.

The Luxans stay stone faced silent while the Atlanteans complete their formation. The Atlanteans were mostly Infantry men with few swordsmen or archers. There were roughly an equal number of armored troopers for each side.

The Atlanteans also had a symbol of a Trident on their chest. Just a Trident. They started to move down the beach towards the Luxans. A chant started to pick up to Poseidon, patron god to Atlantis.

The woman of Luxa wore a device on her arm. It started to beep and she brought it to her face. A soft glowing image appeared to talk to her. She nods her head and then turns to the line of men. A soldier steps forward with a horn and blows three blasts.

The woman and the soldier step back into the ranks as large massive shields are brought forward and dug into the ground. The formation closes as the men make themselves as small as they can behind the shields.

The Atlanteans slow their pace and look on in confusion. Their former brothers in arms now cower behind large shields. This was not an action of the rebel forces they were used to. Separated by idealogical differences, they were still trained the same.

The Atlanteans start to increase their pace forward again. Their leaders, spurring the men on, thought to close with the enemy before, whatever plan they have can be enacted.

The Atlanteans cover half the distance to the Luxan force when a blinding light occurs. Before the Atlanteans can react a massive boom, then a powerful wind lifts them off their feet and throws them towards the Luxans. Cries of pain and shouts of alarm from those blinded or burned. A few are still moving. Some get to their feet, Aether spears, shields and weapons forgotten. Only the pain.

The armored troopers pick themselves up and look around confused. Most of their force has been decimated in the explosion. All know now what the Luxans were up to, they used the Hand of Ares on Atlantis.

The woman stands up a few feet behind the great shields and bellows her war cry. A great cry rises up among her men as they rise and push pass the shields in a full out run towards the enemy. Infantry men and armored troopers fire their Aether spears while archers let forth arrows. All are racing forward to the confused and dazed Atlanteans.
Some Atlanteans realize the danger and start to fire back but most are down with Aether shots before the Luxans reach them. Scattered with many Atlanteans still struggling to get up, the Luxans roll over them like the tide rolls over the beach.

Few can defend themselves and the Luxans butcher them to a man. The woman is walking forward after her men as they continue up the beach pass the slaughtered defenders. In the distant dark, the glow of fires caused by the Hand of Ares. While night, the outline of a large cloud rises into the darkness. The night stars of the gods have been blotted out.

Many Luxan vailixi stream forward over head. Heading to the doomed city of Atlantis. The war is over and Luxa has destroyed Atlantis. 30,000 years of Atlantis has ended in one night with the weapons of the gods.

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Published by

Jim

Living in Japan, the land of Anime, the Samurai, the ultra modern and extremely old. These contrasting themes fuel my worlds. Both the ancient and new meld together into worlds where super-powered school kids defeat evil; forest spirits help or fight humans; and giant, futuristic robots battle to save civilization. Where else to live for inspiration! A screenwriter and novelist living in the suburbs of Tokyo. A love of history, space and science in general and the beauty of life inspire his tales. He is currently writing an epic adventure trilogy about the downfall of Atlantis.

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